Three foods I have written off

This morning I was feeling a little hungry, and since I was up rather early thanks to The Boyfriend motivating the two of us to wake up early enough for him to get to class on time, I had a few minutes to spare and decided on using them to stop at the 7-11 that is on the Pennsy side of my drive and directly on the way to my employer.

(Regardless of what time I woke up I still would have stopped there; I feel like I should note that. However, I must declare that waking up early enough to get to work before 9 does help me to justify my actions more, and I do not (did not?) feel guilty stopping somewhere when I have so much time to spare.)

I perused the aisles for some grub, and while originally I had intended to get a blueberry muffin for some reason my stomach told me to get a breakfast sandwich instead. I think that had something to do with how many calories I presumed are in a muffin compared to the sandwich, which when looking back doesn't make much of any sense at all considering how greasy and fatty the breakfast sandwich looks, not to mention tastes. I opted for what I THOUGHT was a bacon egg and chee on a croissant, but upon opening the sammich in the car I realized I had not read the entire label, and I mistakenly bought a sausage egg and chee sammich instead. I continued opening my morning grub up, only to be disgusted by the what seemed to be plastic slab of cheddar, soggy-ass bread substitute they were trying to pass as a croissant, paper thin egg-substance, and sausage that looked like it had been shat out of the last person to eat one of these horrendous concoction's ass formed back together in patty shape and placed right back into where it had originally called it's home.

Of course I ate it anyway, I was hungry. I did remove parts of the cheese that had been hardened for what I could only assume was hours of abuse under the warming lamp in the store, I kind of pushed/brushed/picked off the parts of the bread that had been liquefied, and I nibbled at the parts of the sammich that appeared to contain some kind of flavor or solid chew-able ingredients. Of course it tasted horrible, of course I couldn't finish the whole thing, I think I got about 3/4 of what was left after my redecorating and balled up the rest inside the wrapper.

Never again will I buy one of these sandwiches. Not after that. The risk of ever getting a sandwich that is even half less as bad as that is way too high for me to ever spend money on that item again.

So in lieu of that, here are the three basic foods that I have sworn never to eat again:

1. Cup Ramen
Ramen is good. Everyone loves ramen. Heck, I still love ramen. However, the pre-packaged ramen that comes in those environmentally unfriendly containers with the freeze dried "meat" is something that will never pass my lips again. The last two times I had this food I have thrown up within the hour, and this is without having drank any alcohol beverages. Fans of mine may know that I puke a lot after a night of drinking, and my stomach can be set off by a variety of simple things that have to do with the preferred drug of Christians and Jews everywhere, but when food accomplishes making me hurl all by itself I have no other choice but to raise the white flag and call it quits.

2. Mushrooms, sans Portabella
I do not like mushrooms (except portabella)!!! Mom, Dad, get that through your head. For the last 27 years I have been trying every concoction that the two of you make using mushrooms, and I have not liked a single one. Does that tell you something? This isn't one of my five-ten year old phase fits where I just refuse to eat something. I just DON'T like them. I don't like them in my salads, I don't like them with my steak, I don't like them in my chicken. You have seen me try them. You have seen me say "NO I DONT LIKE IT" every time I try it. Please stop asking me to try things with mushrooms in them. When you invite me over to eat please do not cook things with mushrooms in them. I will not like them. I do not like them. Maybe in ten years my palette will change, but until I directly instruct you to use them, please don't waste yours and my time.

3. Squid
One time in Japan my ex boyfriend and I were attempting to eat at a place and something looked good on the menu. I pointed at it and ordered it, thinking it was chicken. Nope. Some kind of squid. I think that at every meal I had in Japan that I attempted to order myself there was squid in it. I don't think I ever really *LIKED* squid, but I never *DISLIKED* it either until I had it by *MISTAKE* so many times. The experiences I had in Tokyo completely ruined that half-assed fish for me, because every time I sit down and look at a squid-meal I am remembered of how horrified, disappointed, starving, and disgusted I was when I accidentally ordered that food.

This post is a bit hasty, yes?

In Retrospect...

I moved about 90% into my new home, and I am sleeping there now, life has really taken a turn for the better, and I believe I'll fill you in later but for now here is a little thing I had been thinking of all day...

I was reading how my morning went in that post below (or on the next page depending on how many posts have been added since, and I thought I would let you know how my first morning before work went since the move.

I woke up at 6:30 this morning because The Boyfriend had school and wanted to be showered and on time with no rush, so we woke up to some obnoxious rant on NJ 101.5 (forgot to change the station back to the oldies station!) about how the illegal immigrants should be rounded up somewhere in north jersey and then bussed right over to the airport.. it was completely silly and ignorant, but I digress..

We hopped in the shower, and I noticed the little wall hanger convenience for your shower caddy jawn had broken and was hanging on by one suction cup, this thing isn't even 48 hours old yet..

We showered. We got dressed, but made a mess looking through all the clean clothes for one of his t-shirts even though I swear I washed about seven of them over the course of the day. He left for school by quarter after seven, at which time I promptly made myself a bowl of cereal, sat down, watched some Home Movies with commentary for about a half hour, and went to work.

How work went after that is irrelevant - you should already notice how ridiculously laid back and smooth my morning went - regardless of the fact that I was up at 6:30am I had plenty of time to relax in a comfortable surrounding before leaving for the headache that is my workplace.

Sorry for the short, rather uneventful post, but THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT OF IT GET IT!?

Onstead is hella polished

There is an interview with Chris Onstad of Achewood (achewood.com) fame located here. I haven't read the entire interview yet, but there's a pretty spiffy picture of Chris with Beef and Ray on there.

The reason that I am posting this link is not only because of the interview or what just might be the only known picture of Chris ever taken, but also because of the comments made by the fans of the strip. The fans are hella funny, and you can see how each and every one of them has taken some kind of achewood-ish speak or behavior or attitude out of Chris's strips and into the "real world". The one liners are almost all hilarious, and its apparent how seriously (but comically) fans of the strip take the whole scene.

Dan would probably be a lot better at explaining this to you since he is perpetually connected to the central cortex of the Achewood universe by a series of cable wires that plug into several different kinds of electrical outlets and gas station free air tanks, but word on the street is that he is a flake and generally avoids any and all contact with the world due to his recent accident which led him to only able to communicate through David Byrne (and if you've ever heard THAT guy talk you can only imagine what Byrne's translation of Dan's gibberish sounds like..)

My favorite comment:

Mine.
by Andreabobandrea
You assholes better stop reading my comic.
3:28 PM Mon August 6, 2007