Spaceships of the (FUTURE)

Sometimes meetings at work can get a little boring, and 90% of the time when I am bored I start doodling on my notepad. I never go into meetings without one, and every once in awhile I find that I've doodled something swell.

Today was not one of those days!!

We have weekly status meetings in my boss's office, which I guess are pretty helpful, if anything its nice to stop sitting in front of the computer for a half hour. Either way since some items of discussion only require the attention of two people that don't include me, I usually end up thinking about some kind of theme and then draw stuff based on that theme. Today it was safari!



You can see I've drawn an elephant or two, a giraffe, an ostrich, and I think that the guy on the right is some kind of hippo, but the jury is still out.

A few weeks before this masterpiece was conjured up we had a meeting about design drafts, and I had the song Purple Bottle by Animal Collective stuck in my head. I doodled some lyrics, and drew a bottle, and also some toothpaste for some reason. After the meeting the boss came over to my cube, and checked out what I had accomplished in my notes. He decided that the bottle was actually a lamp, and drew up a nifty little toothbrush to go with my tube of toothpaste, which according to him was called "Molly Fresh".



Don't ask me how Godzilla got there, because I honestly don't know.

Lastly, during a brainstorming session quite awhile back, my boss and I came up with different ideas for Spaceships of the (FUTURE). As you can see below, the highlight of this doodle-fest was the Octopus Bus. According to my boss, the Octopus Bus is a spaceship that is made mostly for public transportation. There are jets that shoot out of the end of the tentacles for navigating the skies and landing softly on giant Octopus Bus landing pads. I wasn't subscribing to this idea, so we actually had a pretty detailed discussion about how it would work and the pro's and con's of this kind of transportation system.



Basically the whole thing ended with me trying to prove his ideas as ludicrous and completely impractical for public transportation, or any kind of transportation for that matter. He claims to this day that I was just jealous of his creativity, but he is also responsible for the Penis Needle spaceship you see up there. So you be the judge of that.

Last week while he was on vacation I had the honor of being proved a moron by a CNN story about Google launching a race to outer space. Next to the article on the home page of CNN's science and technology section was this computer generated artist's interpretation..



I don't know if something like this actually is in some kind of production, but boy do I feel the asshole. Also please do not sue me if this image is not allowed to be here. It came from CNN.com. I don't know who is responsible for it. But I am not claiming that I did.

So it seems that not too long from now we'll all be riding in Octopus Buses. Or at least until the next big animal inspired space ship craze comes around.

The Best Parts of Movies That Aren't the End

I saw The Happening this past weekend. I really liked it. I want people to go see that movie without some kind of predetermined idea in their head that its supposed to be this horrifyingly gory life changing movie. It was basically hilarious and fucked up. The director says he was trying to make the best B movie ever. While its definitely not the best, its got to be up there.

While I'm waiting for the rest of the world to get their heads out of their asses and learn how to enjoy themselves while watching a movie again I figured I would post up here my favorite parts of movies (that I can remember today) that isn't the end of a movie. I made that rule because while Dan and I were discussing what ours were he mentioned that the end of Big Fish and The Life Aquatic were two of his favorite parts of movies. While I agree with him I also think that generally the end of a movie is supposed to be the best part of the movie or at least the part that leaves the largest impression on you, so this has more to do with the parts of the movie that weren't intended to be such a big deal but in reality, are.

1. Blue Velvet - Ben's (Dean Stockwell) Karaoke Solo
After the first time I saw this movie every other viewing of it was pretty slow generally because there were no more surprises, but this scene still gives me the goosebump smileys and always demands complete attention from the audience. You have no idea if Frank is going to kill or hug Ben, and fuck if Ben doesn't lip synch this song like he's saying some kind of personal eulogy right before an infuriated rampage of fucked up drug induced slaying. I mean you get the idea when you meet him that Ben is a pretty chill guy, but for some reason watching him sing this song makes me think that when he does guys in the ass he is pretending his dick is a five sided saber sword and the fucker's head is exploding with maggots while his balls are duct taped to a pack of firecrackers. Here's the video, courtesy of YouTube.



2. Zardoz - Zed's introduction to the Renegades
This whole fucking movie is amazing on so many levels that I don't think most humans are capable of comprehending. There are so many things in this movie that could arguably be the most fucked up things that happen, or the funniest, or the most confusing, but I'm going to go with the first time Zed sees who and what the Renegades are. I mean here you have a cold blooded killer, who rapes women in his name, Zardoz, on any given Zardate. This guy climbed into the mysterious stone head and without a second thought MURDERED his own God in COLD BLOOD.

So what is it that scares this beast, this massive perfect-bred human capable of destroying the tabernacle and the world as the Eternals know it? The only way you are going to find out is by scrolling about six minutes and thirty seconds or so into this clip below. Brace yourselves, you'll thank me later.



3. Ted Bundy - Mid movie music montage (camping scene)
My brother got into another discussion with a lady about why he loves Ted Bundy so much while he was at Bonnaroo, and the lady couldn't prove any of my brother's points to be wrong. I mean face it, regardless of how you feel about Uncle Ted, you have to admit that he was one of the smartest guys ever. He got away with murder and robbery countless times, broke out of jail twice, pretty much had everyone who knew him (including crime writer Ann Rule) fooled about who he really was, and to this day no one really knows the whole story of how many people he did or didn't kill because of how he was using the criminal psychiatrists to delay his death sentence. If you ever listen to the recordings of the interviews with Ted Bundy you'll get a glimpse of how hilariously cunning he was, its solid gumby gold.

Anyway, a guy made a movie about Ted, and its a great movie, again, regardless of how you feel about the guy. About half way through the movie there is a nice little music montage of a few of his murders, and the upbeat music makes it more than memorable. You'll find it about 7 minutes in on the video below. My personal favorite is the clip of him camping out having a smoke next to some very lovely, but quiet, ladies. Enjoy.



An honorable mention goes to the scene in I Heart Huckabees when Tommy (Mark Wahlberg) fucks shit up in the meeting room. Kind of an interesting coincidence that Mark Wahlberg is also in The Happening, basically playing the same dude, but a lot better dressed and clean shaven.